She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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