i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
