were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
