No, you can still breathe under the balls.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
