I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
