He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
