wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
