If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
