you have to choose: penises or morals?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
