I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
