I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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