yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
