A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
