no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
