I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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