One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
