i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
