I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
