is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
