Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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