dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
