shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Drunk is not a location!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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