More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
