I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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