Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
