whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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