i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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