She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
