Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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