If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
