The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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