My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
