1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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