what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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