I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
