I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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