Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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