I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm always down for nudity.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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