you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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