I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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