So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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