The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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