He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
