so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
