i just google imaged poop.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
