So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
