So many bounce houses so little time
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
