I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
