guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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