IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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