YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
