the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
