Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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