Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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