I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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