I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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