What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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