The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
