just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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