From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Blood and glitter go together right?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
