Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
