YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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