You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
