so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize